Happy birthday to me!

Yikes! In a couple of days I will turn 40.

40 years old!

How did that come around so quickly? I remember the day I started kindergarten as clear as day, “almost” as if it was yesterday.

To celebrate this grand anniversary I had planned to embark on a great adventure; take our kids on their first long haul flight, visit friends in Malaysia, trek in the jungle, maybe go diving with another friend living in Thailand. I dithered too long and we ended up staying home.

My dream way to celebrate my 40th birthday would be to spend the day on Bondi beach in Sydney with Dadonthebrink, my children, my parents, my sister and her family. Then take a boat ride across Sydney Harbour over to Manly and back at sunset with a dinner at a quaint restaurant in the old town.

Instead I will let the day quietly pass, taking stock, no party, no fireworks, no adventures.

This is so unlike me! I love a good party, I like to celebrate occasions.

However, I don’t think I’m actually ready to be 40. I have put my head in the sand imagining if I don’t do anything to mark the occasion it’ll just not happen. That’s not life though! The date is creeping closer whatever I do or don’t do. I can’t avoid it. I am turning 40!

With this anniversary looming have come lots of soul-searching questions, looking at my life so far, my achievements -the most amazing of which I count as my 3 children, who I brought into this world! Still unbelievable!

As my birthday nears I can’t help but look forward too: what does the future hold? Am I beyond my half point? What do I need to do to make the rest, of however long I have left, count?

So how will I actually be marking this turning 40 point? I might bake a cake, we’ll probably go out for quiet dinner as a family (just because I can’t be bothered to cook on the day like I do nearly 365 days a year) No big party or adventure.

That’s not the end of the story though!

I’ve decided this is going to be a year long birthday celebration, a celebration of life, family and childhood: We’re spreading the adventures through the year. We’ve say down with Dadonthebrink and scheduled a weekend away each month for camping, city breaks or going that bit further to see friends we’ve not seen for ages. We will have lots of adventures as a family and I’m determined to cross at least some destinations (especially ones in the UK) off my bucket list in the process.

And once I’ve got used to the fact that I’m 40… probably in 6 months’ time we will host an all-mighty party. It won’t be my 40th birthday, but instead we will celebrate turning 100 years old as a sum of all our ages as a family.

This is what it’s come to. It seems by 40 I’ve growth up; I put my family first, then myself. I see this as positive, but thinking back with my youthful head I would’ve despised myself for giving up on me. Am I really giving up though or do I just see the important things in life more clearly? I just don’t want to go places, see things without sharing them with my loved ones!