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Ah Potty training…an age old topic with parents, how and when to toilet train your children.
I had few preconceived ideas about toilet training before having children.
In fact, I don’t think I had even changed a nappy on a real child before having Little Miss, let alone thought about how to get them out of it. All I knew for sure was that I HATE, detest, loath poo! (I feel compelled to wear rubber gloves near it and wash my hand a thousand times over. I have been known to bleach my hands after getting some poo on it.)
Despite my loathing I was also very determined to use washable nappies. Strange you may say, but I had seen a picture of the pile of nappies that an average child goes through and was so horrified that it was enough make my conscience dwarf my poo hate. (Here are some images to bring it home.)
Coupled with the dread of full nappies, I have always been a relatively observant parent, therefore as a combination of record keeping and watching out for the signs I knew when my babies were going to empty their bowels. I never left them in their soiled nappy for more than a couple of moments. I would drop everything to get them out of their dirty nappy very quickly. I have to admit, this was relatively easy as Little Miss was a regular once (max twice) a day baby and Little Man was once or twice a week baby till he went onto solids, so there weren’t too many nappies to deal with.
When Little Miss was about 6 months old I read about parents who did not have a nappy on their child at all from birth. A method called Elimination communication. WOW! I thought. I wished I’d heard of this method before. Reading a bit more about it, I then decided to try my own blended flavour of early potty training:
At 8 months, when my little girl could sit on her own, I popped her on a potty as she woke up (which, coincidentally, was the time she usually did the stinkies) and voilà! The poo came. She got a huge praise. I hardly had to wipe a bottom; no soiled nappies to deal with; no nappy rash; it was win all around.
Thus started our early potty training journey.
We made it part of her routine, waking up in the morning or from her afternoon nap, she’d sit on her potty, we’d ask her to do a poo and a pee, read books and play with her in the meantime, then praise her for the results. It was fun for us all. There was no pressure, she could get up if she wanted. After a while I popped her on the potty 45-60 mins after meals too. It was a relatively natural process.
I realise that the “disadvantage” of my method is that we’ve had to pay attention to the cues much more. (Not necessarily a bad thing.) We could not sleep in either, as one of us, mostly Oh-so-darling-Daddy, would have to get up as soon as we heard a peep from the baby’s room. No baby gurgling away and entertaining herself while we waited till human o’clock to get her! 🙂
Following this method, Little Miss was pretty much dry by 14 months but still in nappies. Had we not started a house extension I would’ve taken the nappy off her at this point. In the end she was 20 months old when we took the nappy off her (this was 2 months after her brother was born, Christmas and New year family invasions were over and we’d returned to “normality” following the house extension.)
The transition was a week. She was completely dry days and nights from then on.
Once potty trained, my next challenge was to get her onto the toilet and not have to empty and clean a potty. This I think was helped by two things- firstly, we found a 2-in-1 adult-child combination toilet seat. This is sturdy and clean and gives children confidence as there is no wobble and has small opening, so they do not feel they can fall in. Secondly, the potty was needed by little brother, so Little Miss became the big girl & went onto the big toilet with little seat. She had a step from IKEA that she could pull up to the toilet herself.
With Little Man I got braver, I started him on the potty at 6 months, which was roughly when he started pooing daily. Since then we have had only a handful of soiled nappies and one pair of soiled pants only.
The wetting is another story completely- we took off his nappies (for the daytime) just after he turned two. After all he had been weeing (not exclusively) and pooing on the toilet for 18 months by then. After an initial spate of accidents, for about 5 months it went really well. However, now we are back to anywhere between 0-6 changes of underwear and trousers a day. We been to the doctors’, we’ve looked at the environment and can’t find any reason for the relapse.
But, you know what? I don’t mind the wetness as much, with the poos going down the pan, I can cope with the wet pants! I have only had a handful of soiled nappies from my babies since one was 8 months old, the other 6 months old. That’s the win for me.
He’ll get there, I just need reminding him more often…
How have you tackled toilet training?
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Wow what a great post and kudos to you. That is great parenting, I am terrified about having to Potty train Addison, I have obviously not been able to and probably may never have to with Gray so kind of put it to back of my mind.
Fab post x
Thanks Kara! Do how you feel comfortable with Addison. If you see the cues early on then it is as easy to pop them on a potty or a toilet, if however this would be to stressful for you and Grayson, then just leave it till all of you are ready.
With regards to Gray, remember one thing, the brain is one of the most amazing organs in the human body, it will develop new paths, different areas take over the functions, so you never know … G might be ready some day.
Great post! I take my hat off to you and your potty training well done!
I tried this with my 1st it went quite well, then I gave up we were emigrating and all that jazz, then I did the usual 2.5 years old toilet training biz she was dry day and night by then, then god knows what happens she’s still in night nappies at 5 she daily wets her pants as she can’t be bothered to go, it drives me mad, but I have to just accept she will grow out of it and stop!
Gosh, you mean to say I might have another 2.5 years of wet pants?! I go through phases of despair, anger, worry, indifference (mostly the later) with Little Man’s toilet habits. I would’ve thought that peer pressure, especially at school would help with accidents. I know, Little Man just totally looses himself in activities that’s when accidents happen (and this can be 2 minutes after I’ve asked him if he needs to go).
We started EC in the late 13th month with our boy/girl twins. By 19 months, we switched to conventional potty training methods because EC was teaching them to pee/poo on the floor. Now the twins are almost 2 years old and we’re still not getting anywhere with them. I’m very close to putting both in diapers and quitting. EC does not work with all babies and, yes, I was observant. I spent months sitting on the floor with and doing absolutely nothing but them. Now, a year later, I’m so very tired of cleaning up messes. Trying to find support means hearing about every wonderful kid on the planet who isn’t a failure like your kids so it’s honestly incredibly frustrating.
potty training is not easy by any means. We sussed poos quite quickly because both my kids had very distinct cues. The other side of that is my son, almost 4 still has to wear pull ups for night-time. Don’t be frustrated! It can be a long process.
Yes, but I’m at the point where I’m thinking what is the difference between cleaning up messes for years on end – we’ve already invested a year solid and they’re still making messes – versus just putting them in diapers until some distant far-off time (teenagers, anyone?).
Hope it’s not teenage LOL! The time will come when they suddenly get it. Again my son took about a year of accidents (between 2 and 3yo) on and off for him gaining control over his bladder… and he still has the odd accicent.
Hang in there, worth it when there are no more nappies or accidents!