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This is the question Danielle Smith asked on Strollerderby (babbleblogs). And I found myself pondering exactly this same question – “Is it appropriate?”- during the news coverage of the recent horrific events in Norway (the bomb attack in Oslo and shooting spree on Utoeya island claiming 76 innocent lives on 22nd July) :
The family was out and I was watching the breaking news coverage of the death of Amy Winehouse, when the Littlins (2.5 year old & 4 year old) came back from walking the dog with their Daddy. The news switched over to events in Norway and it was the 1st time I’d actually watched the reports on the news (I had thus far followed it in the written press), so I left the television on.
As we watched, my 4 year old Little Miss, who was busy colouring, started asking questions and it actually struck me how much she is taking in even if she is seemingly preoccupied with other things!
The questions were hard to answer- Why did they run into the water? Why did they die? (She is also just coming to terms with the fact that people, including her family members and her will die at some point… that’s another tough discussion we’ve had not long ago.) Why did the man have a gun? Did he know these people?
Now, I believe that we should be as open with our children as possible, but try to put the answers in an age appropriate way, while protecting them from the gruesome details. Our answers, with my Other Half, were along the lines of- this is a very bad man, who does not know what is good and what is bad. He did a very bad thing. He killed good people and no, these people will not wake up any more, they have gone to be with the angels. These people tried to get away but the water was very cold. It is very sad and it is okay to cry. The people who were able to hide from this bad man are safe.
This last bit is the lesson…”if you were in their shoes what would you do” sort of question. You may think this is too young for a 4 year old, but I feel it gives her a chance to talk about it, talk about her fears and what she can do. She is quite young so doesn’t necessarily make all the connections of how something like this might relate to her own life, her own situations as perhaps older children might. (e.g. if she was going camping, would a lone gunman possibly appear?) She will probably come up with a question about this or similar incident days, weeks or months later.
She has so much trust, I fear for her, yet don’t want to break that kind, giving warm spirit. I do find it important to show her, in a protective way, that the world is not only good. I want her to be able to recognise situations that are not good and instead of panicking, act with the utmost confidence that she normally has, just aimed at self-preservation.
Whether a discussion like this should be initiated through watching the news with young children is up for debate. Especially as the news is often so over-sensationalised and shows too much detail for young children. However, if you can find decent coverage of events, then I think that is worthwhile using it as a prompt for discussion and alleviating children’s fears. They will pick up snippets from newspapers, radio even if we don’t intend them to, so why not talk about it openly?
Its important for children to be aware & informed the negatives in life too.They can’t grow up believing life is a fairy tale.Its a fine and delicate line But it’s better to have your child growing up informed than ignorant.
Great write up & even greater read! Thank you 🙂
It’s a tough one. I don’t like the adult news myself, so am reluctant to let my kids watch it, but they watch Newsround, and read First News, and we are very open with them about events. They know about the killings in Norway and about Amy Winehouse in a very uncensored way, but the point is that adult news is told in an adult way. It is better if the telling of it is done in a child-friendly way I think.
I do agree with you about the adult news being very dramatic and graphic, and at times I do question its impartiality too. Do you pro-actively watch Newsround with your kids? When did you start with them?
I think it’s important for children to watch the news however the age would really depend on a childs understanding! Both my boys have watched the news for a few years and they are 10 and 13. We started putting newsround on 1st and only after they had started asking questions on what they had heard or saw from elsewhere. Obviuosly my youngest has watched it from an earlier age as it would be on as my eldest was watching. They have a great understanding for whats going on in the world and I think it’s great for them to see what other people have to live with or go through for them to appreciate how lucky they are.
Great comments! Thank you!
My kids are grown up now, but I watched Newsround with them from the age of about 4. Answered their questions, and talked with them. My children had a lot of loss to deal with early on in their life, so death was nothing new. I remember when working in early years how the children would talk about the Foot and Mouth outbreak when playing with the farmyard. So long as you watch with them, and answer their questions in a reassuring way, they will be fine. At the end of the day, you know your children, and each one is different. You have to work with each one on their own level of understanding.
Its tough, but that is what being a parent is all about – teaching our children about the wider world and the good and bad in it.
Don’t forget to balance the bad with the good – tell them the good people helped rescue etc.
My mum was horrified I had the news on when in Australia with my son, then 21 months. My sister still doesn’t allow the news on anywhere near her children, 7, 5 and 7 months.
Personally I’d rather my son brought up around the news, and then we have quiet time to discuss it. That’s how I was brought up. I think the news is hard to take, and there are sad things in the world, but I want my son to be a good global citizen, and being informed is important.
My girls who are now 10 & 13, grew up watching ‘Newsround’ and seemed to rather enjoy the fact that they were aware of what was going on in the world. My eldest daughter now covers many news topics in her ‘Socialogy’ class which can sometimes come as a surprise that she is even aware let alone ‘in the know’! I personally think that children becoming aware is not a bad thing as long as it is at a level they can understand! Food for thought though hey?!
I think it depends on the individual child. Some kids seem pretty robust, others are more sensitive – even within the same family. If I had kids under secondary school age, I’d probably encourage them to watch Newsround, but I don’t think I’d like them watching, say, the 10 o’clock news.
As an aside, does anyone have an opinion on TV news versus newspapers? I wouldn’t say the TV news is necessarily more graphic than newspapers, but I do think the language is simpler and easier for a child to absorb, and the moving image and sound combine to bring home the horrors of the world more vividly to children than print does. I often used to find the TV news – even Newsround – very upsetting, but I read the Guardian and the Observer from the age of seven and rarely had a problem with them. In retrospect, I’m sure I was spared the details of the more harrowing stories because I didn’t fully understand what I was reading – or at least, not until several years later, when I was old enough to cope with it.
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