Even with my parents here the house is uncharacteristically quiet.
Dadonthebrink is away in Sweden.
That is our weekday norm now and slowly we are getting used to it. We skype as often as we can, though sometimes our timings aren’t synchronised, we are sitting down for a meal, or he is just driving to his accommodation. (He is still struggling to find a place for us all to live when we join him next year.)
Angelina is away on a three day residential trip. Without her, the sibling love triangle is broken, the boys are getting on well, looking after eachother better, as if fearing their brother will leave too.
As we packed yesterday, I fretted whether we’d laid the right foundations for her to be away, take responsibility for washing and dressing on her own. Of course she can shower herself, but will she remember to take all her toiletries with herself? Of course she can choose her clothes and dress herself, but will she chose the right clothes for the crazy weather we’re having?
I guess this is one of the first of those milestones to her independence. As a mother it frightens me that she is growing up so fast, yet at each point my heart also bursts with pride at how well she scales each obstacle.
I just hope she is ok.
And our household is very much missing Joshy. He is missing from our daily routines. I especially notice the void in the evenings. At dinner time: there is no cleaning fairy under the table to clear up the mess my little messy eaters make. Then as I lock up before going to bed, there isn’t a soft furry head to scratch and wish good night before I check on the children.
Our lives are in a bit of a flux of changes. With the change of the season these changes are made more poignant. The sense of loss prevails more than the happy anticipation of adventures to come. I know this will change and I know what seems like an insurmountable mountain in front of us will end up being a good hike… just need to give it time and have patience, right?
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