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Heavy burden on their shoulders?
After a 2 week holiday my 4 year old went back to school yesterday. As it’s a day another mum picks her up, I was shocked to see her come home in a completely different uniform, than what I sent her away in the morning. She also left her water bottle and her lunch box at school, only bringing home her fruit box. This got me thinking:
Are we expecting too much responsibility from a 4 year old?
We send them to school in the September after they turn 4. Are they REALLY ready?
They join a class of 20-30 children, here they are launched into a hustling-bustling environment of study mixed with play. From what I see there is little structure to the day, though the teachers have to put in a LOT of planning to ensure all objectives are met. The staff ratios of good old nursery go out the window.
The children are expected to do a lot on their own- eat (finishing their food quickly), toilet (wiping their bottom and no one checks if they’ve done it right, leaving them with a sore bottom to learn the hard way if they haven’t), they have to carry 3 bags- because the book bag and lunch box and PE kit all have to be separate of course!- and look after all their items.
The teachers try to combine small group activities, including reading and writing practice while other children run riots around (…without supervision, because the teacher is paying attention to the individual she is teaching).
Now I’m not saying I have a solution, but I am frustrated that Little Miss regularly comes home without half her things she went with- scarf, water bottle, cardigan, wellies, etc. and often half her food in her lunchbox. She’s scanty and needs help. The resources aren’t there. So we expect her to remember all this by herself!
Little Miss loves the reading and writing part, however should we be developing fine motor skills with drawing and crafts instead of writing? Communication skills with role play and storytelling instead? Numerical skills through games?
In some European countries children start school at 6-7 years of age, they go into a more formal setting and thus have more structure and less responsibility on their shoulders. Some might argue that is too much structure- 45 minute lessons, homework, etc.- and not enough responsibility and freedom of choice.
There is no wrong or right answer how best done. Yet I cannot help question whether we are heaping way too much responsibility too early on our 4 year olds’ shoulders?
What do you think?
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I worry too, I even considered a Steiner school for a more relaxed start for Max. Now after nearly 2yrs of being in a private school, we’ve decided to take him out. Partially financially because of hubby losing his job, but also because I’m worried the stress levels are too high at a pushy close to London private school (the london ones are even more competitive than ‘normal’ ones).
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We considered a private school (not that we could realistically afford it) for the smaller class sizes and more individual attention. However, as you say, there is more pressure to perform. I just wish there was a nursery-type option, where they are not learning to read and write at this age!
I think we need to keep our kids at home longer. 4 is far too early for formal education. My 5 yr old came home on Monday with homework – on top of two reading books! Homework is wordsearch, alphabetically ordering the 13 words AND putting these words into a sentence each. This is ‘optional’ apparently. But when I tried giving it back, just having done the wordsearch I was told that my boy is perfectly capable of doing more and she wanted him to do some sentences! he is clever, I agree, but really? All that at aged 5? And he needs to play, eat and sleep and read his books. I just thank god that we haven’t signed him up for all the after school activities they offer. He wouldn’t get to bed until 9 pm!
Gosh! Is that year 1 or foundation?
I guess teachers see word search as a playful way of learning letters, words and reading. However, if it is optional they should run with the parents’ wish not to push her child! They should play more and use shapes, figures to put into order, not words.
I’m beginning to worry about this – our boy will begin pre school in September aged three – and though I know he’ll LOVE the social side and is bright as a button I also worry that he won’t eat his meal, won’t communicate what he wants and needs and won’t get the support and attention he needs to flourish.
I think UK schools do ok – but just ok – I think too much is expected of too few staff and that they are set unrealistic targets that concentrate more on ticking boxes than meeting the needs of individual children.
Some children love school and flourish there – I wasn’t one of those children and hated school from a very young age – I have very clear memories of my first class at the age your Little Miss is now and still get uncomfortable thinking about how I was made to feel at that time by the other children and by teachers who were under too much pressure – and that was over 20 years ago, they have it much harder now!
I don’t know what the solution is – I don’t think I’d home school well and I can’t afford a private school with smaller classes, though I would love to, so I don’t know what to do for the best other than try really hard, as my family did, to support and educate my children outside of school hours too.
The kids are at school for very long hours 9-3 (often 4 by the time you are home), considering their age. I actually find it very hard to fit the extra support and education around it. They do play a lot at school, but it’s the pressures of starting reading/ writing (which she loves btw), remembering all her things, having to eat as she wishes (often leaving half her food) that worries me. Even though she is bright, she’s not ready for these, I feel. … or maybe I’m just not letting her grow up?
I think that children are ready to learn and have SOME structure… but it is not realistic to expect them to look after all their belongings, etc… The support needs to be there.
There’s just not enough support there, not enough funds to do this realistically in the UK system. My sister, a nursery school teacher in Hungary, teaching 3-6 year olds has a group of upto 30 children with the support of 1 assistant. She copes and the children thrive. The difference: though she pays attention to each child as much as she can, she doesn’t have to have one-to-ones to listen to them reading, or writing, she can look after the whole group better. All the kids eat the school meal together, supervised. They are supported in their personal hygiene, their belongings marked with symbols and the teachers pay attention that they are fully and appropriately dressed when they go out (hats and gloves in winter, etc.) Small things that help teach the children independence, without putting the pressure on them.
I’m not saying that the Hungarian example is an ideal situation, far from with such group sizes! There must be a golden middle ground though!
I know exactly what you mean. Though in Wales, things are slightly different. There are many classroom assistants and children are split into small groups, each group doing something different at the same time, with the focus very much on learning through play. I feel the same as you, about my 4yo, especially with things like going to the toilet by herself, as at home I have to help her wipe, as she doesn’t do it very well by herself, and she has a very sore bottom from going to the toilet by herself in school. It is a lot for a 4yo to cope with, but I like the fact that they get to go to school and play for a few years, before all the hard work starts!
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Yes, the lots of play is great, as is the structure of schooling. It’s a pity that school heaps on the responsibility at the same time. They could learn through play with a bit more hand holding (avoiding sore bottoms).
I think that children in the UK go to school far too early. It is a lot of responsibly for them. Mini still hates going even more so after a holiday or a break
It might be the post-break frustration with us too that’s prompted this, I don’t know! I guess the contrast of the calm, collected daughter remembering everything over the break (in fact reminding mummy of things she’s forgotten) with the flustered little girl who wet herself, forgot most of her things just made me very angry and left me feeling helpless.
What Jen said. All the research says boys start too early and that’s one of the reasons they don’t do as well as girls. Lots of other countries, often with better childcare support allow children to start later. Most schools in my area are a 90 intake – amazed children can thrive in amongst that. No one things get lost
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I didn’t realise boys were disadvantaged by starting so young. In theory we can hold kids back till they are 5 (thankfully Little Man will be almost 5 when he starts), but there’s a lot of pressure not to hold them back…for one getting a place later!
Is our only option to homeschool them?
I really do believe it’s too young and would like to see an approach to education like they have in Sweden where they start school later and mostly learn outdoors until a later age. It proves to be better in the long run and helps produce confident and capable children. My partner and I have trained to become Forest School leaders and would love to open our own Forest School one day, at the moment it’s a bit of a pipe dream. I certainly plan not to send my children to a traditional school until a later age, if at all.
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The Forest School programme is fab. Little Miss’ school runs it too. They all go out in groups of 15 once a week for 2-3 hours. They love it! Each time my little girl comes back with lots of fun stories.
Corinne, what is your alternative to traditional schooling? Homeschooling?
This is something that worries me greatly. My son is due to start school in September 2013 & will have only just turned 4. I can’t help but think that is still very young & he’ll be in a class with kids who are already 5.
He goes to play/preschool 9.15-2.15 once a week which I’ll up to 3 x a week once he’s 3 & funded & is coping surprisingly well with the 20 other kids aged up to 4. But like you said the staff ratios are much higher & they still help with toilet breaks etc.
It’s such a dilemma. I do think that 4 is a bit to young & maybe starting them the term after they turn 5 would be more beneficial.
At my infant school, mums used to volunteer and help out in the reception class. I know this because my mum was a volunteer one afternoon or morning a week, she would help with arts, crafts etc.
Unfortunately, there is so much red tape now that parent volunteers aren’t able to help in the classroom without numerous expensive police checks, and qualifications, when what the kids really need is someone there they can turn to for help when teacher is busy.
Some schools still rely on volunteers. Ours is very good at getting the checks done. I volunteer sometimes in Little Miss’ class, that’s how I know that the teachers just cannot control the class when they have to do the one-to-ones or small group activities. I really feel for the teachers, because they are doing a very difficult job. I come away after only a few hours absolutely shattered.
My oldest school sounds a little different but I do agree I think 4 is a little young. I say 6 is a good age. Up here they start school in the August, when the turn 5 before the end of February. I can see a huge social difference in my boy who didn’t turn 5 until Christmas eve from those in his class who will turn 5 in May. We are lucky they have two P1 classes of 17. Which means they are supervised pretty well, but I agree the eating & toilet is hard for them. We had some issues with the toilets at school which I blogged about. It’s hard for little ones. x
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A resounding theme seems to be that boys, especially, should be starting later. You are very lucky to have class sizes of 17!
I love the idea of Social Stories which you wrote about on your blog (http://www.susankmann.com/2011/12/social-stories-how-i-helped-my-child.html), it is something I will look to apply in different situations- might try one for eating, for leaving school with all her belongings.