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Oh My Goodness! was my first thought… or was it Oh Sh*t!?, when I first saw the little blue lines turn into a cross. It was a Thursday morning, I was alone, not going to see the Oh-so-lovely-not-yet-daddy for another 2 days. I had had an inkling I was late… having never really kept track, I didn’t know for sure, breasts felt a bit sore and had a crampy tummy without the period to go with it… Google had already told me what it was. The test confirmed it, even though the numbers didn’t add up… You’re not supposed to get pregnant that late in your cycle!
Do I tell him over the phone? Or do I wait till I travel up to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival to meet him? ….I’ll wait! Some things just need to be shared face to face.
The wait was excruciating! Made a million times worse by having a hen night on the Friday where I was not only unable to drink but also had to keep quiet about my news.
I was petrified! What am I going to do with a baby? I’m not ready to be a mum!
The time finally came to tell him. And he joined me on the rollercoaster ride of emotions, joys and doubts. To top it off I began my rollercoaster ride of hormones and constant nausea. A right ol’ couple we were. We re-evaluated the basis of our relationship, discussed to and fro. In reality we both wanted this, but were terrified of it. Is it the right time? … well, is it ever the right time?
At the same time, with friends and family around who had joined us at the Fringe Festival, we could not talk openly. We needed to reassure ourselves that we were ready to be parents and just talk, talk and talk about everything and nothing. As it was, I had to blame my nausea on dodgy food and antibiotics to duck of the shadow of suspicion.
The next couple of months passed by, I was preoccupied with getting a job (a maternity cover which fit perfectly with my pregnancy period), keeping healthy and dealing with growing aches and pains.
We had one big scare when the hospital got the figures mixed up and the blood test showed a very high risk of Downs. Oh-so-lovely-not-yet-daddy was working 300 miles away from home, so I had to go to the hospital on my own. Luckily, just as they were about to prick me with a VERY large needle for the amniocentesis, something clicked with the technician that I may not have been briefed on the procedure. After all, I was asking a LOT of questions. Then, as the midwife was explaining about results, test, etc, I pointed out some errors in their calculations and after using my correct age I became a low risk candidate. I walked away relieved, with a heap of scan pictures to show for the ordeal.
Work and commuting was gruelling. I got to learn all about SPD (the pain of the pelvis area and lower back due to ligaments loosing tension as a result of pregnancy hormones), which was making walking and sitting very painful. I learnt about special assistance on the railways and at airports (very embarrassing at times, but necessary) too.
I remained totally terrified of the thought of becoming a mum. I did not trust that I had it in me to care for and bring up a child. Then I read a book by Gina Ford and her military formula to raising a child. Phew! Is that it? That’s the recipe?! I can follow that!
NCT classes also helped a little, but I got much more out of the Aquanatal exercise classes, which ended with us ladies eating cookies and drinking tea for an hour afterwards. The wonderful Caroline, the midwife, in her Wonder Woman bra, facilitated amazing discussions around all our fears and concerns.
When the contractions started it all went really well. I was pretty textbook home delivery … until I ended up with 4 hours of unassisted and 2 hours of assisted Second stage labour (the bit where your body is trying to push out the baby), the latter in hospital after a bumpy ambulance ride. At the end of the ordeal though a gorgeous Little Miss was born who made us a real family. The love was instant, despite the exhaustion, all the dilemmas, fears and tears leading up to welcoming her.
A friend recently said:
It’s not always the right time but always the right baby!”
…I can certainly attest to that. I could not have asked for a more wonderful little girl to brighten the lives of all the people around her whom she touches. My little Angel!
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P.S. this baby was never harmed through deploying Gina Ford’s military methods (that book went into the bin the moment my little Angel got home), she was instead whispered to and listened to… more about that in another post. 
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I’ve read about a couple of wee on the stick moments recently… Do you have one to share?
Were you totally prepared? Or totally unprepared?
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Congratulations for back then!! She is gorgeous!
Thanks! Can’t believe she was born over 4 years ago! How time flies.
Awww she is just beautiful
the last lines of your post,, especially, are lovely x
Of course I thought you meant you were pregnant now by your tweet!!
Unfortunately, I’m not currently pregnant, but it has been on my mind a lot recently.
I just loved the cute baby and the PS
Thx Shaan! I didn’t want anyone thinking that I inflicted Gina Ford-esque cruelty on such a lovely baby.
Babies are my favorite…I love mine so. I didn’t mind the sleepless nights, or the spitting up. I breastfed like a champion prize winning cow. And I would do it all over again if I could give them back before their teenage years LOL. Just kidding, sort of. Motherhood is the most important job we will ever have. Enjoy it.
Hahahaha! I have no teenagers yet (have 7-8 years to go to then), so can’t comment on wanting to swap them for a baby!
Considering how scared I was of the role, I do love it. It is tough, but utterly rewarding. Thx for the comment Erica.
BTW- how old are yours?
Mine sounds very similar to yours actually. I was away on a business trip in Bournemouth and we had only been trying a couple of months and my cycles weren’t quite regular so didn’t think there was a chance. Took a pregnancy test with me but didn’t think anything of it. Did one and I was indeed pregnant. That was on the Sunday and I didn’t want to tell hubby this amazing news over the phone so I had to wait until Thursday to tell him. It was the longest few days of my life because I didn’t want to tell anyone else before him so I sat there on my own in this hotel room just itching to get home! x
Oh gosh Katie, that’s a looong wait in a hotel room especially. :-S
Hell, I couldn’t keep that news to myself, I told him over the telephone because we were also in a long distance relationship at that point. I couldn’t be the only one in a panic!
LOL! As you can imagine our phone calls over those days were very short, otherwise I could not have kept it to myself.
I think I needed to see his face when I told him… I needed to see the joy beside the panic reflected. That was my reassurance.
Lara, what was he doing when you told him?
Hello, lovey! What a beautiful little bundle of joy. My reaction when I found out I was pregnant was definitely “Oh sh*t! But in the five years that she’s been with me, I never regretted it for a moment.
Great post!
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Thanks Amberr! I’m with you- not a moment of regret. My little Angel is now 4 and half, just starting school. The time has passed so quick from that OMG moment (… which were actually OMG days).
I am 21, have been married for two years, and am hearing the loud tick-tick-tick of the biological clock until I remind myself “Hey! You’re ONLY 21!” I am very excited for the day I get pregnant, but thinking about it too much scares me out of my mind. Reading this post, it seems like I’m not unusual to feel freaked out even at the thought.
P.S.- clever little twitter tactic! I don’t even know you and when I read “OMG! I’m pregnant!” I just HAD to click.
Thanks Sharayah for popping by and not only reading it, but taking the time to comment! Lovely to have new readers.
(Please do say Hi on twitter so I can follow you back)
I was 32 when this happened, I think I would’ve been in utter shock if it happened to me at 21! I was too immature, wanted to see the world, explore, live, delve into work first. What can I say… I matured late.
Beyond those first doubts, once she was in my arms I have had no doubts at all. That’s why when I heard the quote, it just rang so true to me.
Good luck, however you may decide, Sharayah!
Oh my! She is a cutey! Your story sounds so similar to mine. My husband just left for Iraq when I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared. I Told him we were pregnant through instant message.
Mandi, I cannot even imagine how hard that must’ve been for both of you- on lots of levels. Finding out you are pregnant, when he is just going into active duty, the pressure that puts on him and you. My full respect goes to servicemen and women and their spouses and families for not only their service they do, but for the sacrifice of having to deal with these things at a distance and not being able to share these moments.
What was his reaction? How long was it that you managed to speak?
Lovely post and scrummy baby! I wrote mine, here it is: http://wp.me/s1M33A-poas
I was prepared, but not really. Kinda figured it would be positive, but I don’t think anything can really prep you for the moment when it’s a plus, or a blue or a circle or whatever it was on the multiple tests I took! Now, 5 months later, I am starting to adjust to it, but still can’t quite grasp the fact that I am going to be somebody’s mother in just a few months!
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